yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
time to smoke my breakfast
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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