Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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