I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
