I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
