She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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