Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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