think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
