I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize
