Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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