i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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