Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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