Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
