Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
