dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I don't think brook has ever known best
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
