You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
