And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
