i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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