We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
