I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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