Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
