Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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