I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
