The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize