standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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