Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
