you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
