Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
