Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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