ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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