I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
