so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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