ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
