I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize