Plan B is the new Plan A
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Randomize
