No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
