i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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