I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
