sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize