Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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