Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
