you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
