And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
