i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
