dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
