She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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