How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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