problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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