hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
