guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
