Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Small penises have feelings too.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
