Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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