Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize