How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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