Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
