take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
