Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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