Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
