I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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