Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
