Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
