And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
