Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
