Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
