Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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